This is a letter from my heart to yours; an invitation to restoration, hope, and unparalleled peace. Sounds pretty inviting in the world we live in today. But for me it was not always so. My story starts as a young child living in a home with turmoil and strife, an alcoholic stepfather and a mother dependent on antidepressants just to make it through each day. My heart had already been broken at the tender age of five when my real daddy left us for good. I was my mother’s second child out of wedlock and the years that followed were a blur of pain and a deep gnawing sense of utter hopelessness. By my teens, my mother had been divorced and remarried multiple times. The anger and sorrow of my heart traveled with me through a string of group homes, foster homes, and juvenile detention facilities. My life was out of control. As I turned to boys to fill my desperate losses in life and need for love, approval, and affection, my choices mimicked those of my examples.
At age seventeen I was engaged and planning a future with a nineteen-year-old alcoholic. He was living in a halfway house, already had a lengthy record, a two-year-old son, and a failed marriage in his life résumé. This seemed just fine to me and certainly provided me with the familiar sense of relational chaos I had come to know so well. I had already survived two suicide attempts in less than two decades of life; one at around age eight when my drunk stepfather threatened to take his rage out on me once again and the last while trying to escape an abusive foster home at the age of fourteen. I came very close to succeeding in the second try. After swallowing over forty pills. I realized that day that I really didn’t want to die; yet the pain of my young life was becoming too great to bear. I remember promising God if He saved my life, I would seek Him. You see, God’s loving and watchful eyes had been on me from the very beginning, yet I was still on a dead-end path with destructive relationships and an empty heart longing for peace and true love. Little did I know; my life was about to change in a very incredible way.
One Friday afternoon my fiancé said he needed to break our usual date night that included partying and promiscuity because this guy he worked with had invited him over to his house. He said he was always smiling, so he wanted to go check him out and find out what kind of drugs he was on! So, there I was, stood up for some goofy guy with a smile! I sat home frustrated all night wondering how my boyfriend could trade all of our crazy fun for a visit with this guy!
The next morning, I hurried over to the halfway house where he was living, and he met me on the front porch. I took one look at him and said “What happened to you!?” It was my fiancé, but his very countenance looked so different. I remember just staring at him with utter amazement as something about him had drastically changed.
The words out of his mouth were confusing. “Monette, I got saved last night.” I wondered what he meant by saved? With a new enthusiasm he said, “You’ve got to come talk to this guy; he wants us both to come over tonight.”
With a mix of curiosity and apprehension I spent the rest of the day pondering it all. He was so different and I just did not understand. A peace and joy I had never seen seemed to radiate from him. I decided I would give his co-worker, Scott Jones, an audience - but just out of curiosity.
That Saturday evening was a typical cold, damp, and dreary October night in Iowa. Entering their house, I was captivated by the ambience of peace I felt; nothing like any home I had experienced.
I was introduced to Scott and Margaret and learned that they were missionaries with Campus Crusade for Christ and currently home on furlough from Brazil.
We sat down and Scott asked me about my family and life; two subjects that were not my favorite things to talk about. Then he asked me out of the blue, “If you died tonight, do you know where you would spend eternity?”
“Wow,” I thought. No one had ever asked me that! I thought about the question for a few moments and said, “You know, I would hope I could get into heaven but I have to be honest and tell you I really don’t know.” Scott asked, “If I could open the Bible, and show you how to know without a doubt that you could spend your eternity with God in heaven, would you want to know?” I still remember my answer, and without hesitation I said, “Of course! Who in their right mind would ever want to go to hell?”
Scott opened his Bible to Romans 3:23 and had me read it. “For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” Ok, I thought - that’s pretty clear. The word was not “some”, or “just the bad folks” it said “all.” That “all” obviously included me.
He turned to Romans 6 as he explained that we are all born into sin, and the consequence of our sin is separation from God. “Here Monette, please read Romans 6:23.” I read, “For the wages {or payment} of sin is death….” Scott explained that this death meant an eternal separation from the Lord.
I remember thinking this doesn’t sound very good. I had been to church on and off with my grandpa, I had been nice to people most of the time. I also knew some people who said going to a priest each week might raise the chances for going to heaven. Scott interrupted my thoughts and said that God made a way for man through Jesus only. Then he said, “Please read the last part of Romans 6:23.” “…but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” I thought about this verse… gift… through Jesus… Then asked, “But, can’t people be good enough or do enough good things?” “That’s a great question.” He turned to Isaiah 64:6 and read, “all of our righteousness’s are as filthy rags.”
“You see,” he said, “Ever since the fall of Adam and Eve into sin in the Garden of Eden, man has tried in every way possible to win back God’s favor. So, God sent Jesus, His only son, into the world to be a sacrifice for the sins of men. We see this in Romans 5:8, “But God commends His love towards us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Jesus became the only accepted substitute for our eternal penalty of sin. God, out of His love for us, invites us back into a perfect relationship with Him through His Son by our repentance Acts 17:30, “God… commands all men everywhere to repent.” When we are truly sorry for our sin, we have a change of mind; agreeing with God that we are sinners and also accepting that Jesus died on the cross for us.”
“You mean it’s not from being a good person, going to church, getting baptized, or relying on a priest to gain forgiveness?” I asked.
“That’s right.” Scott said, “These are things man does in futility to try to save himself.” Scott told me, even the vilest of human beings, no matter what is held in their past, can be forgiven.
Then it all became clear to me. I had heard the opinions, thoughts, and reasons of people (some very religious people as well) but now I was hearing the truth from God’s Word. I only had one question left for Scott” What must I do to be saved?” And he said, Acts 16:31 tells us the answer, “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved...”
As we sat there in Scott and Margaret’s living room it made complete sense to me for the first time. Scott didn’t have to tell me anymore. I said, “I want this salvation through Christ and a relationship with God.” We all bowed our heads and Scott led me to pray to the Lord, a prayer like this:
* “God, I know I am a sinner, I believe Jesus was my substitute when He died on the cross, I believe His shed blood, death, and resurrection were for me. I ask you to forgive me and I receive You as my Lord and Savior. Thank you for this gift of salvation and everlasting life, because of your mercy and grace. Amen.”
I remember feeling a weight taken from my shoulders when I prayed that prayer. All those years of hurt, anger, and deep hopelessness were removed from my heart and replaced with the most all-consuming peace and joy I had ever experienced.
Scott explained that concerning my new life, the Bible said in II Corinthians 5:17, “If any man be in Christ, He is a new creature. Old things are passed away, behold all things are become new.” That verse summed up exactly what I knew just took place in my heart.
He explained to me that I had become a child of God and to grow strong in my spiritual life, I would need to do these things. First, read the Bible daily. Regard it as food for my growing soul and God teaching me about His plans and direction for my life. Second, pray often to God, speaking to Him like I would to my dearest friend, because He loves me and desires a close relationship with me. Also, spend time with other believers and grow in my faith as I learn more about Christ. Last but not least, tell others what God has done in my life by saving me and giving me new a new life.
My heart was so full that night and as we left I walked to the porch. Opening the front door to leave, I stopped and stared in astonishment at what I saw. While inside Scott’s home, a fresh snow had fallen, covering the dark dreary ground. Under the streetlight, the pure white snow glistened like a sea of diamonds. I saw at that very moment a beautiful picture of what Jesus had done in my heart. I later learned that God’s word says in Isaiah 1:18 “…Though your sins may be as scarlet, they shall be white as snow…”
I invite you to look honestly at your life. Do you have a complete peace and a deep sense of joy? God says in His Word that a personal relationship with His Son is the only path to true peace and a life restored. Don’t waste another day in the false hope of your own strength and righteousness. If you have never asked God to forgive you, and accepted Jesus as your personal Savior, do not hesitate. None of us know the exact number of days God has given us to live on the earth. He loves you and is calling to your heart today.
If this story has caused you to know that you need God’s forgiveness and a new life in Jesus, just pray with a sincere heart, a prayer* like mine and believe God’s promises are true.
If you would like to email me at monettedemuth@aol.com I would be thrilled to hear from you!
Since that incredible night back in 1978 my dear Mother has also given her heart to Jesus. God has given us continued hope and joy in both the blessings and challenges of our lives. He has provided us with strength and a desire to live lives that are pleasing to Him.
It is no coincidence that God has placed it on my heart to share my story with you. What will you do today with His invitation to give you a new life in Him?
Sincerely, Monette Demuth
Hal and Monette Demuth have been blessed with eleven children, fifteen grandchildren and live in Conifer, CO.